OK, Really?!

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Be Warned!

Colorful Language

Seen in the paint department of
Home Depot.

Oh Ho!

I laughed loudly when I saw this
car parked at the grocery store.

Who Wrote It?

I remember my mother reciting this - or, part of it.

One bright morning in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight.

Back-to-back they faced one another,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

One was blind and the other couldn't see,

So they chose a dummy for a referee.

A blind man went to see fair play,

A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A deaf policeman heard the noise,

And came and killed those two dead boys.

A paralyzed donkey walking by,

Kicked the copper in the eye,

Sent him through a nine inch wall,

Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.

(If you don't believe this lie is true,

Ask the blind man -- he saw it too!)

Slice a Smile!

Am I a Wookie?

So, what is up with this?  I think I'm turning into a Wookie!  Not only am I getting hairier, but there are these noises emanating from me...

Yes, I am going to go there!  This aging thing is quite interesting and I intend to laugh about it.  Laughing helps keep the sighing and crying down. 

Alright, we remember from general science that matter exists in three forms.  (Just a minute, I am going somewhere with this.)  There are solids, liquids and gases.  Near as I can tell, the physical body which I have occupied for well over half a century, must be converting from the first two forms to the latter one.  The solids are becoming weaker.  They are having difficulty containing the other two. (ugh)

My word!  I know there are statistics out there about how many times per day the human body... er... has flatulence.  I think, if I really wanted too, I could call Guinness and contend for the record.  Now that would be a claim to fame!  

I guess that is enough.  I don't mean to go on and on... oh, dear!  That wasn't what I meant, but it is kind of apropos.  It's just that, as I have more, uh... release, I am less able to disguise it.  I don't know if a marching band could disguise it!  

That's what I mean when I wonder if I am becoming a Wookie.  These noises are worthy of Chewbacca -- in pain!  Whew!   

Kick What??

Ooohhh!

Worry not.  It is short.  :)

Seen Today

I tried to get a photo but I was driving and wasn't quick enough at the only red light.

S small (but mean sounding) motorcycle with a small female driver, long hair, no helmet...
 License plate read:

WLDENUF

Oh, Nose!

I Had ta Laff...

...when I saw this car parked right
by the main entrance of our
restaurant, yesterday.

(My son said, "Looks like they
came to the right place!"  Guess we
 passed on some sense of humor.)

True Story!

My son, having gone to his room after venting to me for awhile, just popped back out to say,
"Just when you think your day can't get any weirder, you drop chocolate between your toes."  (Yes, he really had!)

Okay, Now... What Does it Mean?

OK, I'm not really
laughing at the way this
man was dressed (maybe,
just a little.)  What I really
think is funny is the label
I slapped on him
(mentally, of course)
was "French."

What amuses me further:
Someone else could dress
in the same clothes and I
would think the same thing.

Now, what does that say
about me?!  And I think I'm
a person who hates
pigeonholes and labels!

Smile!!

I answered the door to the
(expected) gas man and gave
him a smile (I can spare
a few.) then I went in to
the bathroom for something
and caught sight of my
mouth.  This does not do
it justice.  It was black with
the blueberries I had been
eating!  Well, at least it's not
spinach!

What Do You Think?



LOL! Poor MOLDDOG!  I do wish
(s)he would show some feeling
about
SOMETHING!



You are Warned!

Funny?

Spotted in a parking lot.
At first I thought it was funny.
On further reflection,
I thought it is true. 
It is never too late to do right.
It is never too late to be saved.
Then I thought of people gone
before me.  It is too late to let them
know what they mean to me.
Not so funny, now.
Thank God there's Heaven!

And Cute!

SIGNS IN THE WOODS

This is fun!
Check it out.

(Further note: this link leads only to the blog.  I did not realise that.)

Oh? Oh?

The opera is a place where when a guy gets stabbed, he doesn't die -- he sings.

Opportunity knocks only once.  Temptation bangs on the door for years.

-MORE OF THE BEST OF MILTON BERLE'S PRIVATE JOKE FILE