A patient calls his acupuncturist and says, "I have a terrible pain in my side!"
The acupuncturist says, "Take two thumbtacks and call me in the morning."
MORE OF THE BEST OF MILTON BERLE'S PRIVATE JOKE FILE.
Showing posts with label short joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label short joke. Show all posts
Friday, June 3, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
I Guess it Could be Worse...
In a recent campaign, one candidate ran unopposed and came in third!
- MORE OF THE BEST OF MILTON BERLE'S PRIVATE JOKE FILE
- MORE OF THE BEST OF MILTON BERLE'S PRIVATE JOKE FILE
Friday, May 27, 2011
Frustration!
Frustrastion is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. MORE OF THE BEST OF MILTON BERLE'S PRIVATE JOKE FILE
And I say, "Right on!"
And I say, "Right on!"
Monday, May 23, 2011
Some Thatch!
His beard is very thick. For ten years, he's been kissing his wife through a straw.
- MORE OF THE BEST OF MILTON BERLE'S PRIVATE JOKE FILE
- MORE OF THE BEST OF MILTON BERLE'S PRIVATE JOKE FILE
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Snow joke, man!
.
Q. What do snowmen wear on their heads?A. Ice caps.
Q. What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?A. Frost bite!
Q. What did Frosty call his cow?A. Eskimoo!
Q. What do you call a Snowman on roller blades? A. A snowmobile!
Q. What does Frosty's wife put on her face at night?A. Cold cream!
Q. What do snowmen wear on their heads?A. Ice caps.
Q. What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?A. Frost bite!
Q. What did Frosty call his cow?A. Eskimoo!
Q. What do you call a Snowman on roller blades? A. A snowmobile!
Q. What does Frosty's wife put on her face at night?A. Cold cream!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Amen!
A New Year Prayer for the Elderly
God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.
Thanks to:
Will and Guy's Funny Clean Jokes
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Benny!!
Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish.
~Benny Hill
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish.
~Benny Hill
Saturday, November 27, 2010
more Groaners
Conversation between clouds:
"Surely you can't be Cirrus!"
"I am Cirrus, and don't call me Shirley!"
(So what's the stratus on your gut, now that you've read that one??)
"Surely you can't be Cirrus!"
"I am Cirrus, and don't call me Shirley!"
(So what's the stratus on your gut, now that you've read that one??)
Friday, November 19, 2010
Ha!
Hey, mister, is that your bunch of cows?
Herd.
What?
Herd - of cows.
Of course I've heard of cows. Whaddya take me for?
Herd.
What?
Herd - of cows.
Of course I've heard of cows. Whaddya take me for?
Thursday, November 11, 2010
From a card, as I remember...
Keep your chin up,
your nose to the grindstone,
your shoulder to the wheel,
your feet planted firmly on the ground,
and now try to get anything done!
your nose to the grindstone,
your shoulder to the wheel,
your feet planted firmly on the ground,
and now try to get anything done!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Boy Scout
Leader,"How did you get that black eye?"
Scout, "Helping an old lady cross the street."
Leader, "What happened?"
Scout, "She didn't want to go!"
An oldie, but it makes me smile.
Scout, "Helping an old lady cross the street."
Leader, "What happened?"
Scout, "She didn't want to go!"
An oldie, but it makes me smile.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Wha...?
Wife: Why didn't you stop telling that story after the third time I kicked you under the table?
Husband: You didn't kick me.
Husband: You didn't kick me.
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