Victorius Christmas

"Santa Claus has the right idea.  Visit people once a year."
                     Victor Borge

Barry Christmas!

Dave Barry, Christmas Shopping
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukka' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukka!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'

Benny!!

Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish.
~Benny Hill

Giggle

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.Anonymous

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.Anonymous

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.Anonymous

Fox Worthy

If you think paleontology is the study of buckets, you may not be smarter than a fifth-grader.

                                           Jeff Foxworthy