OK, Really?!

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Be Warned!

Colorful Language

Seen in the paint department of
Home Depot.

Oh Ho!

I laughed loudly when I saw this
car parked at the grocery store.

Who Wrote It?

I remember my mother reciting this - or, part of it.

One bright morning in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight.

Back-to-back they faced one another,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

One was blind and the other couldn't see,

So they chose a dummy for a referee.

A blind man went to see fair play,

A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A deaf policeman heard the noise,

And came and killed those two dead boys.

A paralyzed donkey walking by,

Kicked the copper in the eye,

Sent him through a nine inch wall,

Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.

(If you don't believe this lie is true,

Ask the blind man -- he saw it too!)

Slice a Smile!

Am I a Wookie?

So, what is up with this?  I think I'm turning into a Wookie!  Not only am I getting hairier, but there are these noises emanating from me...

Yes, I am going to go there!  This aging thing is quite interesting and I intend to laugh about it.  Laughing helps keep the sighing and crying down. 

Alright, we remember from general science that matter exists in three forms.  (Just a minute, I am going somewhere with this.)  There are solids, liquids and gases.  Near as I can tell, the physical body which I have occupied for well over half a century, must be converting from the first two forms to the latter one.  The solids are becoming weaker.  They are having difficulty containing the other two. (ugh)

My word!  I know there are statistics out there about how many times per day the human body... er... has flatulence.  I think, if I really wanted too, I could call Guinness and contend for the record.  Now that would be a claim to fame!  

I guess that is enough.  I don't mean to go on and on... oh, dear!  That wasn't what I meant, but it is kind of apropos.  It's just that, as I have more, uh... release, I am less able to disguise it.  I don't know if a marching band could disguise it!  

That's what I mean when I wonder if I am becoming a Wookie.  These noises are worthy of Chewbacca -- in pain!  Whew!